John Kimble (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a cop assigned to put a killer named Crisp behind bars for good. To do so, Kimble needs to find Crisp's son and ex-wife. All he knows for certain is the name of the small Oregon town where the live and that the boy is kindergarten age. Kimble goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to try to find the boy. Even though he's a tough cop on a mission, Kimble realizes, to his amazement, that he enjoys teaching the kids. He also finds a love interest in one of the other teachers, Joyce (Penelope Ann Miller) - a single mother whose son is in Kimble's class. And, as luck would have it, Kimble discovers that Joyce is Crisp's ex-wife. How convenient! Kimble will have to act fact, though, because Crisp is on his way to collect his son. For the most part, Kindergarten Cop is an enjoyable movie. Schwarzenegger seems naturally unnatural around the kids, but that works in the film's favor. Kimble should be awkward around his class. There are a number of humorous interactions between the un-humorous Kimble and the kids - my favorite being his reaction to the kid obsessed with death. Good stuff. As awkward as Schwarzenegger is around the children, it's the exact opposite when it comes to his co-star, Miller. There's a nice chemistry between the two that really shows on-screen. I would have loved to see the pair make more movies together. Another plus for kindergarten cop is Pamela Reed playing Kimble's partner. Reed is always good and gives a solid performance here. Throw in some nice action toward the film's conclusion and Kindergarten Cop ends up being a nice experience. I do, however, have two complaints. First, the film is too long. I really think that if just 10 to 15 minutes were cut from the runtime, it would be a better, tighter movie. Cut the scenes with Cathy Moriarty, for example. They add zilch to the final product. Second, baddie Crisp and his mother aren't threatening enough. They're jokes. Had the pair been played with a more menacing tone, the final showdown would have been even better. Still, it's a solid film as is.

Between Kindergarten Cop and Predator, you will learn about half of Arnold's famous one liners. That doesn't mean Kindergarten Cop is laughable trash. In fact, it's a wonderfully heartwarming story about broken families and how we learn to communicate with children. Also, it's just hilarious watching Arnold interact with kids. This is one of those personal favourites of mine that I watch at least once every couple years or so. I love it from it's hilariously campy opener right up to its surprisingly violent ending. It's perfect for the guys to laugh and quote Arnold, and perfect for the girls to gush over how adorable the kids are.

John Chard

Feb 17, 2020

6.0

It's his toughest assignment so far! Kindergarten Cop is directed by Ivan Reitman and it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Kimble, a tough police detective who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to catch drug dealing baddie Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson) before Crisp can get to his ex-wife and son. However, having no teaching experience previouslly, Kimble finds the children a right handful. Not only that but he finds himself attracted to another teacher, Joyce (Penelope Ann Miller) to further complicate things. Sandwiched in between "Total Recall" and "Terminator 2:Judgement Day", is this light action comedy on Arnold Schwarzenegger's Curriculum Vitae. With a salary of $12 million in his pocket the big Austrian revels in playing comedy. Much as he did with "Twins" from 1988, Schwarzenegger is comfortable in making himself the butt of the jokes. With a crazy premise such as this one it was imperative that he got the feel of the comedy right, something that he achieves in spades. Schwarzenegger's play off with all the children is good fun cinema, even tender at times. For in amongst the froth the writers still slot in serious issues, issues that Schwarzenegger, in spite of his obvious lack of acting gravitas, grasps with two gigantic hands. There's no surprises in store within the plot, and I'm pretty sure for a film of this type nobody is seriously expecting any. Yet the good honest fun makes this one for all the family to enjoy. With good support from Miller & Reed, and of course the army of sprightly children, Schwarzenegger once again doesn't take himself seriously. Hollywood, like it or not, is all the better for it. 6.5/10

Shockingly dated. Sure, Arnold is kind of funny and the kids are very cute, but the constant violence, language, junkies, and aiming guns at small children in this day and age (or any day and age). I definitely do not recommend this for any children.

"Kindergarten Cop" comes close to confusing itself - and the audience along with it - about what sort of film it is actually striving to be. It is no different from watching a regular Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie in the beginning with the expected flourishes of appropriately dramatic music and even someone getting murdered during the opening couple of minutes and then Schwarzenegger's stereotypical character John Kimble is introduced as a Dirty Harry-type of clone repleat with an endless succession of pithy quips, a big gun, and more importantly an amazingly unorthodox approach to his job. However - and don't choke on your popcorn here - the film abruptly transforms itself completely with the notion of plunging Schwarzenegger into a John Hughes movie set in a chaotic classroom of screaming and generally unruly six year olds. This creates an unusual oasis - albeit an extraordinarily noisy one - to be found at the center of the usual fare a Schwarzenegger film has to offer and the resulting clash in thematics is nevertheless great fun and it isn't in the least bit damaging to this hugely entertaining film.